I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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