I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
wow bdsm is so cute
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