i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I think i got beer on your cat.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
