There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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