I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
the raccoons are back...
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