I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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