I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
bring money and cleavage
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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