So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
