??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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