So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
