found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
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I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
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I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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