Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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