I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
