if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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