I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
