I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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