She is in my trunk
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
