Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Send help, water and tortillas.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
