Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
