Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
