What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
