ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
