dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
