well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Actions speak louder than pants.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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