Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!

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  (313): marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte! http://tfl.nu/25lr
  Replies (1) Good night (3886) Bad night (1628)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?

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  (630): is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit? http://tfl.nu/3vh4
  Replies (107) Good night (1075) Bad night (13104)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.

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  (713): never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea. http://tfl.nu/cq0m
  Replies (24) Good night (1221) Bad night (4180)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.

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  (309): so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished. http://tfl.nu/wbty
  Replies (19) Good night (7349) Bad night (1679)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.

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  (609): I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke. http://tfl.nu/ibe5
  Replies (11) Good night (1047) Bad night (4041)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"

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  (856): we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon" http://tfl.nu/pn3g
  Replies (4) Good night (4220) Bad night (929)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My vibrator challenges you to a duel.

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  (610): My vibrator challenges you to a duel. http://tfl.nu/fz14
  Replies (18) Good night (4053) Bad night (1242)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her

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  (201): i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her http://tfl.nu/006u
  Replies (5) Good night (1336) Bad night (712)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....

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  (250): So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too..... http://tfl.nu/p12c
  Replies (2) Good night (936) Bad night (571)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.

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  (602): I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets. http://tfl.nu/wv2q
  Replies (10) Good night (1430) Bad night (583)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.

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  (563): Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break. http://tfl.nu/2dfj
  Replies (0) Good night (1020) Bad night (486)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?

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  (740): I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that? http://tfl.nu/cfbo
  Replies (4) Good night (316) Bad night (647)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.

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  (941): That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that. http://tfl.nu/m9pn
  Replies (1) Good night (778) Bad night (320)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?

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  (217): I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been? http://tfl.nu/gh9w
  Replies (1) Good night (683) Bad night (232)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON

  (309): View more from Illinois

  THE MOOOOOOOON

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  (309): I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON (309): THE MOOOOOOOON http://tfl.nu/ew4x
  Replies (5) Good night (663) Bad night (200)

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