Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  come over anyways, right now, right this second

  (850): View more from Florida

  it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying

  (561): View more from Florida

  wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation

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  (850): come over anyways, right now, right this second (850): it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying (561): wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation http://tfl.nu/cwsr
  Replies (28) Good night (938) Bad night (3117)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.

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  (405): i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy. http://tfl.nu/1yd9
  Replies (19) Good night (3502) Bad night (818)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs

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  (303): All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs http://tfl.nu/h4tc
  Replies (43) Good night (5320) Bad night (1338)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.

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  (907): Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea. http://tfl.nu/ohgs
  Replies (22) Good night (4435) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Want any specific kind of beer?

  (623): View more from Arizona

  Yeah. Alcohol flavor.

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Got it. Anything but Miller.

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  (701): Want any specific kind of beer? (623): Yeah. Alcohol flavor. (701): Got it. Anything but Miller. http://tfl.nu/wg65
  Replies (39) Good night (7229) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen

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  (626): i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen http://tfl.nu/216j
  Replies (4) Good night (3067) Bad night (1061)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.

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  (717): Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated. http://tfl.nu/4rw5
  Replies (7) Good night (963) Bad night (1898)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.

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  (306): No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke. http://tfl.nu/zs7w
  Replies (5) Good night (656) Bad night (1155)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  She's just so happy...and so naked.

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  (303): She's just so happy...and so naked. http://tfl.nu/5upc
  Replies (3) Good night (2904) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out

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  (213): If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out http://tfl.nu/pkwm
  Replies (3) Good night (1365) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt

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  (408): You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt http://tfl.nu/y49e
  Replies (2) Good night (1001) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.

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  (208): When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls. http://tfl.nu/qm6d
  Replies (0) Good night (882) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.

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  (412): i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass. http://tfl.nu/godv
  Replies (7) Good night (960) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...

  (1-315): View more from New York

  Hahah. That's good.

  (315): View more from New York

  I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...

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  (315): He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand... (1-315): Hahah. That's good. (315): I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out... http://tfl.nu/bifv
  Replies (5) Good night (373) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.

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  (504): I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina. http://tfl.nu/2cbm
  Replies (1) Good night (506) Bad night (296)

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