AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.