I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
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remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
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Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.