Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.

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  (609): He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL. http://tfl.nu/l6ak
  Replies (1) Good night (1138) Bad night (1211)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom

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  (806): apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom http://tfl.nu/lh1h
  Replies (11) Good night (1433) Bad night (3550)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.

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  (918): I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it. http://tfl.nu/on4u
  Replies (49) Good night (2508) Bad night (4808)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now

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  (504): there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now http://tfl.nu/squr
  Replies (40) Good night (9421) Bad night (1515)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.

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  (413): You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief. http://tfl.nu/eaos
  Replies (40) Good night (5178) Bad night (3455)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine

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  (954): so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine http://tfl.nu/9kja
  Replies (30) Good night (3161) Bad night (5166)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.

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  (774): I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard. http://tfl.nu/r66v
  Replies (7) Good night (2230) Bad night (1005)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.

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  (608): I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college. http://tfl.nu/m4t3
  Replies (2) Good night (2133) Bad night (658)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.

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  (717): Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection. http://tfl.nu/8fsy
  Replies (7) Good night (592) Bad night (1297)
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  (585): View more from New York

  By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.

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  (585): By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some. http://tfl.nu/uaz4
  Replies (6) Good night (1173) Bad night (513)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.

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  (647): I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday. http://tfl.nu/lj8p
  Replies (9) Good night (1812) Bad night (581)
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  (707): View more from California

  Hahah. They reconnected again?

  (1-707): View more from California

  Like with his penis I guess

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  (707): Hahah. They reconnected again? (1-707): Like with his penis I guess http://tfl.nu/k3d2
  Replies (1) Good night (628) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.

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  (307): I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars. http://tfl.nu/4ihs
  Replies (2) Good night (631) Bad night (351)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Umm

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  No idea. I blame fireball.

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Valid.

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  (412): Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway. (1-412): Umm (412): No idea. I blame fireball. (1-412): Valid. http://tfl.nu/n14x
  Replies (1) Good night (733) Bad night (447)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times

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  (603): So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times http://tfl.nu/2gsi
  Replies (1) Good night (681) Bad night (251)

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