I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
How drunk are you?