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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  he wasnt completely random

  (914): View more from New York

  you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i get things done.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I bet i've been more pregnant than you.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  he has this weird thing where he watches me pee

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey

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