Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
