why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize