How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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