just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?