Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.