ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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