Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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