Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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