break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
