Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
