It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
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Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
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Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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