just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
