The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
