I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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