Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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