Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
