I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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