I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
