beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
