Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
