clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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