yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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