About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
