I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
high people should be assigned attendants
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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