he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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