i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
