I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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