just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
