just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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