carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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