Where is the hickey?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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