still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
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Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
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I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize